V3.1

He's gone. A man who terrorised me back home, caused heart-ache and distress; altered lives forever.. Passed away. Now I am quite sensitive when it comes to people passing - I've seen over a handful of dead bodies in my life during work.. However I will not be one of those that do a complete 180 and once the person passed act as though we were friends, we got along, we cared. He was not a good person, he did not have a heart of gold [do not get me wrong, we are not all perfect]. Granted, he was in a tough place towards the end - his final attempt encased him in a limp; lifeless body until ultimately he met his demise.

This event closes an important chapter in our book, I will no longer be thinking 'what if', what if he was to 'suddenly' get better and it happen all over again? I knew it was impossible, to go from what he had become back to what he was, but it never stopped me from wondering. This event will give a number of us the closure in our lives that we have been looking for, for years.

I probably sound cold but I refuse to be one of the ones who turns and says, 'He had so much to live for what a shame.. Isn't it sad..' Etc. That is not me, and although he lived the past couple of years in somewhat torture - he was finally on the receiving end. I know, I sound cruel, but I have good reasons to. I get that it was sad what he tried to do towards the end.. But he did it all to himself. You know, you reap what you sew.

On another note, time for a change. Going to take some time off uni and do some IT stuff for a while. I need to chill and get myself together, and just enjoy myself for the time being. Before I burn out; or my back goes again.

Holidays soon! Heading home [Geelong] for 9 or so days, then on to Tassie where I will be meeting up with Katey, Lyns et al for 6 days to hunt around and such. I seriously can not wait - so excited!!

Cadbury factory here we come!


I sincerely hope they have this at Tassie Cadbury..

Well, off to have lunch with the Nana!

V1.4

Exam 3 out of 4 completed today. Ethics and health Law. Seemed a bit too easy, one of those exams that you think.. Where are they trying to trick us, ya' know? But I'm feeling pretty darn good about it. Time will tell, I guess.

Today we got mail, not the fun kind of mail either. As the real estate are increasing our rent as well as demanding more bond [neither of which we are able to pay], we have to find somewhere to move to. Oh, did I mention the move-out date? 26th of December. Crappy timing, much. If we need to relocate and I need to get a new job, heck I will definitely do so. I can't afford not to, really. So now, the hunt is on. Bring on 2009 I say. Heck, bring on Tasmania I say!

I just finished watching a movie: The Bridge [2006] is a documentary that was made on the topic of suicides via the Golden Gate Bridge in 2004. Captured on this film, was 19 or so suicides out of the total 24 recorded between January 10th to December 29th, 2004. As well as the captured suicides, were interviews with the deceased families. The families did not know that they had footage of their loved ones jumping at the time of filming, and all were apparently receptive [positive] with the film. I feel that it manages to raise questions about suicide, mental illness as well as civic responsibility.

It's hard to believe that some people still think people commit suicide for fame, glory or attention. Can you name anyone who became famous for jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge? I mean, why do you think most people kill themselves? Some of you may say they are crazy, others say depression. Perhaps there are sometimes when the person isn't getting the answers they want; or the help they desire are and feel that this is the only way. Now granted, if they die they will never get the help that they are thirsting for; the answers that they are yearning for.

Roy: I can't believe there's a psychiatrist in the building. All because those two from accounts just had enough of everything and wanted to go to the seaside.
Moss: The seaside? They committed suicide, Roy.

Plagued by feelings of deep self-loathing, and a fear of abandonment, people can engage in reckless behavior as well as lose many friends. Suicide is clearly no joke. It is fatal [do ya get it?] not only to the one that does it but to the loved ones around them. When someone takes their own life you cannot ask why. Reason being, you could never put yourself in their shoes. You will never know where they are coming from and why. There are reasons for not being able to cope with this crazy world, and how much they hurt physically as well as mentally. When someone says, 'depression hurts, it's true. It physically makes you tired. You become closed off from others; isolated. You feel like you have no-one and putting it bluntly, it's shitty.

I am no longer ashamed to admit, I have depression. I have being suffering from depression as short as 6 years. It is a daily struggle for sufferers, and without the help we yearn for; the family and friends we hold dear, we might just become another statistic. Argh, it's been a shitty week. Apologies for the not so uplifting post? I am sure you will all live. [Irony, did ya' get it?]