V6.0

Since my last post, I have ended my relationship with the guy I was dating (7 months later). I knew it was for the best, and once you know it is not meant to be it is best to end it before it goes too far. Unfortunately, ours had passed that stage. You win some you lose some.

I had a friend from my former/Brisbane life pass away on Wednesday the 9th of September. It came as a surprise to so many of us, and he will be sorely missed. Many of the old regulars, as well as current followers of the Brisbane metal scene will remember a friendly, fun loving bloke known as Snailz. Robert 'Snailz' Martin was the one who shook your hand every time you entered the venue, had a beer and a joke with you, and didn't have a negative thing to say about anyone or anything. He was in the moshpit of every local metal band's set, front row centre. He was a great mate to all who knew him. You'll be sorely missed, Snailz.

On another - more positive note, I have added another year to my life, and also I have been bettering myself via losing weight as well as removing negativity. Since being back home I have lost over 15 kilograms, although I aim at losing a further 25. At least this time I am doing it the proper way, exercise and healthier eating habits.

Pop is still in hospital, although this one takes a fair bit too much to explain so I shall leave it for another time.

V3.1

He's gone. A man who terrorised me back home, caused heart-ache and distress; altered lives forever.. Passed away. Now I am quite sensitive when it comes to people passing - I've seen over a handful of dead bodies in my life during work.. However I will not be one of those that do a complete 180 and once the person passed act as though we were friends, we got along, we cared. He was not a good person, he did not have a heart of gold [do not get me wrong, we are not all perfect]. Granted, he was in a tough place towards the end - his final attempt encased him in a limp; lifeless body until ultimately he met his demise.

This event closes an important chapter in our book, I will no longer be thinking 'what if', what if he was to 'suddenly' get better and it happen all over again? I knew it was impossible, to go from what he had become back to what he was, but it never stopped me from wondering. This event will give a number of us the closure in our lives that we have been looking for, for years.

I probably sound cold but I refuse to be one of the ones who turns and says, 'He had so much to live for what a shame.. Isn't it sad..' Etc. That is not me, and although he lived the past couple of years in somewhat torture - he was finally on the receiving end. I know, I sound cruel, but I have good reasons to. I get that it was sad what he tried to do towards the end.. But he did it all to himself. You know, you reap what you sew.

On another note, time for a change. Going to take some time off uni and do some IT stuff for a while. I need to chill and get myself together, and just enjoy myself for the time being. Before I burn out; or my back goes again.

Holidays soon! Heading home [Geelong] for 9 or so days, then on to Tassie where I will be meeting up with Katey, Lyns et al for 6 days to hunt around and such. I seriously can not wait - so excited!!

Cadbury factory here we come!


I sincerely hope they have this at Tassie Cadbury..

Well, off to have lunch with the Nana!

V2.1

This month has been a busy one, hence lack of posts for 3 weeks. In the past 21 days we have moved house, had Christmas, done some thinking.

I have been contemplating this for what seems forever and it is the most important question I have at this point in time. What do you think will happen? I mean, what happens once we pas on? Modern science tells us that humans are just material that will decompose and our minds will fade out of existence like a spark of electricity and this life we live as far as we go. What I would like to believe is that when we pass away, we will return to our true essence, and merge 'the collective' if you will, unseen energy that makes up our universe.

I think that everybody wants to believe that there is an afterlife simply [or maybe not so simply] because the thought of non-existence scares them. People seem to either turn to religion to better comfort them and believe that they will get everything they ever wanted and be blissfully happy all the time/for the rest of eternity [sounds to me like someone did not get what they wanted out of life perhaps] or to Atheism to try and believe in the science of the "energy" called the soul in your body that leaves after death and apparently takes your consciousness with you.

Perhaps when you die your consciousness does not go with you, energy does not hold your thoughts and memories and decisions, however instead your brain does. Perhaps when you die, just like anything else in this universe, your energy gets recycled and reused by other sources that use your energy. This is a deliriously thought thought but maybe; possibly a fact that you still cannot deny, the human race has dulled down anything that scares them or found a way to counter that fear or suppress it, death is just something that humans cannot mass prevent cheaply, so many random theories come out about it trying to make us feel like we have "control" - Because there is nothing more us humans like than power and control over situations to make us feel important and special [Do note the bit of sarcasm there]...

Staring at this screen as the clock ticks by makes me wonder how much longer I will be around. Unfortunately I am not currently feeling the most lively, hence this blog lacking energy, enthusiasm or general care.