V6.0

Since my last post, I have ended my relationship with the guy I was dating (7 months later). I knew it was for the best, and once you know it is not meant to be it is best to end it before it goes too far. Unfortunately, ours had passed that stage. You win some you lose some.

I had a friend from my former/Brisbane life pass away on Wednesday the 9th of September. It came as a surprise to so many of us, and he will be sorely missed. Many of the old regulars, as well as current followers of the Brisbane metal scene will remember a friendly, fun loving bloke known as Snailz. Robert 'Snailz' Martin was the one who shook your hand every time you entered the venue, had a beer and a joke with you, and didn't have a negative thing to say about anyone or anything. He was in the moshpit of every local metal band's set, front row centre. He was a great mate to all who knew him. You'll be sorely missed, Snailz.

On another - more positive note, I have added another year to my life, and also I have been bettering myself via losing weight as well as removing negativity. Since being back home I have lost over 15 kilograms, although I aim at losing a further 25. At least this time I am doing it the proper way, exercise and healthier eating habits.

Pop is still in hospital, although this one takes a fair bit too much to explain so I shall leave it for another time.

V5.1

Update: Pop made it through surgery seemingly well. Hoping the recovery process is positive and we hve home home soon again!

Until then, some pictures hand chosen from the family albums...

Pop, if he put on weight, a squint and wore a tux complete with bow tie.

Pop in parade balloon form.

V5.0

I know, I have been slack for the past few months. With a fair enough excuse. Since last blogging, I have moved from Queensland back to Victoria (two states ftl/ftw - depending on how you look at it).. Aside from that, it has been back to square one with a new job, new/old friends and other such prospects.

I had originally typed up a rather positive blog and had saved it. Unfortunately things have dramatically changed in the past half a week or so.

Nan and pop moved from Brisbane to Geelong on Saturday. They were both well, slowly moving things and getting the house set up etc. Sunday, however things had taken a turn for the worse. Pop had gone from being able to walk, talk, eat and do things for himself to not being able to walk without two of us, unable to eat on his own and was unable to speak sense - i.e. it consisted of made up words. After deciding to call the ambulance, against his wishes we headed off to the hospital to meet them there. Four or so hours later of tests and such, they found he was bleeding intracranially, and had been since his last head injury the week an a half earlier. The week and a half earlier, he had tripped and pounded his head on the tiles causing internal hemorrhaging into his brain. From this he ha gone into surgery to have it fixed up, leaving a hematoma behind. After being in observation for continual bleeding for a few days the doctors there (in Brisbane) gave him the all clear to fly down to Victoria. But alas, their observation had failed. Poppy had been bleeding out into his brain since the original injury, but noticeable symptoms and signs were only showing a week and a half after the fall.

He was rushed off to Melbourne to see a neurosurgery team to decide the best cause of action, although we already knew that ultimately more surgery was the only option. We spent the day with him before he went in for surgery today. I have never seen him like this, so confused, so disorientated. Although, I am surprised that he was pretty good with remembering my name this time (usually he gets a little muddled and calls me Cass - my cousin. Although he does have the early stages of vascular dementia).. We said our goodbyes, kissed him on the forehead and watched him be taken away for surgery.

He should be out now. However, I have not heard any news. It's strange you know, with this sort of thing at work I am fine, but once it's your own it's a totally different ball game.

Surgery for four hours, and I just got the word - he has made it through the surgery and has gotten to recovery. Fingers crossed he continues to get through it. I am aware that risks of this surgery may not seem that likely to happen, but with Poppys health status at the moment, I am not taking anything to chance. As nan says however, 'We shall not worry until we know for sure there is something we indeed need to worry about.'

I am currently looking positively into the future, hoping that it all works out the way we desire. I could not bare to lose another grandparent. Losing the first two was hard enough. A sense of relief has come over me. I pray it only gets better from here.

V4.0

Much has happened in the past month. Including the trip to Melbourne for a holiday, then to Tasmania for 6 days then back to Brisbane. Oh and me bailing on moving to Tasmania, oh and now am living back in Victoria. Exciting stuff!

Past month I have been massively busy moving, sorting out my stuff for moving and the like. Plus is the awesome weather down here, it is amazing! The joy of being able to sleep with a doona is brilliant! Looking for dogs is also a fun and enjoyable task! Yes, now that I am living back at home mum and I are on the lookout for a new pet! So excited.

I need to get my act together and get motivated for some reviews and such! Probably do one tonight. Bonus of job interviews coming out the wahzoo! Hopefully I nail something soon ^_^

Short post as I am currently ill - thanks dairy for being so darn tasty, but so darn evil!

V3.2

I'm falling, fading away. What more can I say. I am getting that pitting feeling again, and I do not like how it changes me. I really don't. I get apathetic about everything from work, to housework and it even spreads over to gaming and other such areas. I hate what this feeling does to me, but sometimes I do not know how to deal with it. Ugh. Frustrating. Anyway, in short the past weeks or so have been a bit of a struggle so I am hoping they improve rapidly. In helping things to improve, I bought Star Wars Lego for the PS2 for $13 at the EB Games sale today. I'm quite chuffed, and am looking forward to the possibility of a weekend gaming.

I have been doing better in other areas as of late. I have opened my socialising up more and even initiated events. I've been hanging out with old friends more as of late which has been ace, and even mending bridges with others. Heck, I even went out for dinner andandand a ferris wheel ride.. Aha Daniel, you are a champion for letting me hold on a I went through scenarios of how we could meet our demise. I am hopeless at big heights.

I believe boys are complicated [and I don't deny that they probably think the same about us].. But really, I say what I mean and try not to leave a 'sub-level' meaning. Why can't others do the same? My toe twitching from the other week still hasn't stopped. Seeing the Doctors soon again though.

Also, just quickly... If you say you're going to do something in passing and then say 'Ok, I'll talk to you later about it!', this does NOT mean you have made plans. So instead of making me feel awful, get over it :]

V2.1

This month has been a busy one, hence lack of posts for 3 weeks. In the past 21 days we have moved house, had Christmas, done some thinking.

I have been contemplating this for what seems forever and it is the most important question I have at this point in time. What do you think will happen? I mean, what happens once we pas on? Modern science tells us that humans are just material that will decompose and our minds will fade out of existence like a spark of electricity and this life we live as far as we go. What I would like to believe is that when we pass away, we will return to our true essence, and merge 'the collective' if you will, unseen energy that makes up our universe.

I think that everybody wants to believe that there is an afterlife simply [or maybe not so simply] because the thought of non-existence scares them. People seem to either turn to religion to better comfort them and believe that they will get everything they ever wanted and be blissfully happy all the time/for the rest of eternity [sounds to me like someone did not get what they wanted out of life perhaps] or to Atheism to try and believe in the science of the "energy" called the soul in your body that leaves after death and apparently takes your consciousness with you.

Perhaps when you die your consciousness does not go with you, energy does not hold your thoughts and memories and decisions, however instead your brain does. Perhaps when you die, just like anything else in this universe, your energy gets recycled and reused by other sources that use your energy. This is a deliriously thought thought but maybe; possibly a fact that you still cannot deny, the human race has dulled down anything that scares them or found a way to counter that fear or suppress it, death is just something that humans cannot mass prevent cheaply, so many random theories come out about it trying to make us feel like we have "control" - Because there is nothing more us humans like than power and control over situations to make us feel important and special [Do note the bit of sarcasm there]...

Staring at this screen as the clock ticks by makes me wonder how much longer I will be around. Unfortunately I am not currently feeling the most lively, hence this blog lacking energy, enthusiasm or general care.