V2.2

New Years Eve is upon us.. As we roll onto 2009 I'm sure we all ponder on how quickly the year went, where we spent most of our time, what we have achieved and what is to come. This year I thought I had found love, I was wrong. I found out who my real friends are, and moved in with them. I got screwed over by a few guys, moved on and got retribution [mostly]. I got a new job, passed most of my subjects and have 2 third's of a degree. I got pay rises, new contracts, had a car die. Had a beloved friend pass on, had the usual family things pull on my patience strings. Realised I don't belong where I am and that it is time to move on to bigger and hopefully better things. Managed to get closer to my beliefs and religion, which has been a massive plus in my strength. Having had only one attempt this year, I think that's pretty good considering.

New Years resolutions - who does them? Who sticks to them? I have decided to find myself,;find what makes me happy and maybe even find a companion of the opposite sex for, well, companionship. Mind you, I figure there is not much point looking if we are planning on moving mid-year anyway. That can wait, there is always time for that stuff later.

This will be a quick one, as I am planning on having a nap before I head out to my friend Dan's for New Years drinks, then fireworks and pool party galore. Yeah, it is aout time I became sociable again I though.

V2.1

This month has been a busy one, hence lack of posts for 3 weeks. In the past 21 days we have moved house, had Christmas, done some thinking.

I have been contemplating this for what seems forever and it is the most important question I have at this point in time. What do you think will happen? I mean, what happens once we pas on? Modern science tells us that humans are just material that will decompose and our minds will fade out of existence like a spark of electricity and this life we live as far as we go. What I would like to believe is that when we pass away, we will return to our true essence, and merge 'the collective' if you will, unseen energy that makes up our universe.

I think that everybody wants to believe that there is an afterlife simply [or maybe not so simply] because the thought of non-existence scares them. People seem to either turn to religion to better comfort them and believe that they will get everything they ever wanted and be blissfully happy all the time/for the rest of eternity [sounds to me like someone did not get what they wanted out of life perhaps] or to Atheism to try and believe in the science of the "energy" called the soul in your body that leaves after death and apparently takes your consciousness with you.

Perhaps when you die your consciousness does not go with you, energy does not hold your thoughts and memories and decisions, however instead your brain does. Perhaps when you die, just like anything else in this universe, your energy gets recycled and reused by other sources that use your energy. This is a deliriously thought thought but maybe; possibly a fact that you still cannot deny, the human race has dulled down anything that scares them or found a way to counter that fear or suppress it, death is just something that humans cannot mass prevent cheaply, so many random theories come out about it trying to make us feel like we have "control" - Because there is nothing more us humans like than power and control over situations to make us feel important and special [Do note the bit of sarcasm there]...

Staring at this screen as the clock ticks by makes me wonder how much longer I will be around. Unfortunately I am not currently feeling the most lively, hence this blog lacking energy, enthusiasm or general care.

V2.0

Christmas is fast on its way, and with it slowly my Christmas spirit is rising. I am liking that this year I have been ultra organised, presents have been wrapped, carded and sent off. Woo hoo.

Also, we got the house we applied for - which means moving next weekend [we get the keys in 7 days], so that will keep us busy up until Christmas where we head to Katey's parents for the day etc. This will be my first Christmas away from family which I think shall be interesting. On the upside, I am making rum balls and cherry ripe balls for my Nan and Pop to take back home with them for the family [My brother adores them, so I figured it would be nice for him to have some again this year :P].

I am currently thoroughly enjoying xTyrantx's new album, 'Prepare For Devastation'; it makes me a happy panda. Unfortunately, today [well more so this evening] I had half planned on going to the movies or something with a boy, however it would seem that we both sort of ceased making half attempted plans. I think it has just been a long, tiring week. Maybe another time then...

I am losing motivation to play - well rather finish - Final Fantasy X. It is shaping up to be the biggest bunch of shinanigans. In short, I am not a fan. However I have Brothers in Arms: Earned in Blood and a few others so I might give them a try tonight :)

Anywho, seeing as I am not working tonight and Katey and Lyns are going out for Katey's Christmas work do, it shall be a night of Pina Colada's [non to low alcoholic] and half arsed Long Island Iced Tea's [with more mixer than tradition tells us]. Shaping up to be an interesting, yet chilled evening..

V1.13

I kissed your dad and I liked it.
I hope that your mum don’t kill me.

In our house we have a tendency for making our own little parody songs. It is quite a beloved past-time of ours, as petty as it may seem. Then I got thinking about it, how popular parody songs can be. Take Adam and Andrew for instance, as catchy as their songs are they apparently receive copious amounts of hate mail.. In my opinion they are actually quite clever in some of the songs they do, however I do stress some. Mind you, I think it would be excellent if there were more science/technology/geek parody songs. Maybe I need to hunt around a bit more to find some..

House hunting has begun, and we put our first application in. I am really hoping we get it as it is basically perfect for what we want - 4 bedroom, $315 per week and less than a 5 minute walk to the train station. Most convenient I say! Dinner is here, so I shall leave it at that.

V1.12

The Christmas season is fast approaching, which for many it is a time of joy and celebration... As well as happiness. However for me, it brings on feelings of depression, angst, anxiety and high irritability.

Let us be honest here - even in an un-depressed state, the holidays are stressful and often disappointing. We run ourselves near to the ground buying gifts, cooking, decorating as well entertaining [not to mention you still have to be working on top of this]. Tempers flare as we're thrown together with relatives whom we see not all too often, and don't necessarily always enjoy spending time with. Expectations are high that this season will be magical and perfect as we try to recapture the wonderment we felt as children waiting for Santa, or wait for a rush of emotion as we ponder the religious significance of Christmas. When those feelings don't automatically well up, we are suddenly disappointed.

It is miserable to be depressed during the holidays. One reason is that deep down you know that you should really be enjoying all of the wonderful things that come along with the season. As down as I sound on the season, I really do enjoy a lot of Christmas-ey things - decorating the tree and the house, giving presents, watching Rudolph and the Grinch and event trying my hand at making Christmas themed foodstuffs. But when I'm depressed, the fact that I can not enjoy these things makes me twice as miserable, and I berate myself for not partaking fully in the joys of the season.

The second thing that makes it so hard with being depressed during the holidays is that doing the holidays right requires a lot of planning as well as organisation. If you're not feeling the best, you're so far from having those capabilities that it is somewhat pathetic. You can't even plan past the next hour, let alone an entirety of a holiday season. And organisation?! Come on!

Another horrendous aspect of being depressed during the holidays is spending time with people. Parties, dinners, get-togethers, etc. You're having so much trouble smiling that you are almost positive that you have an absolutely ghastly expression printed on your face. You feel like bursting into tears when someone asks you to join in singing a Christmas carol. Worst of all, in general you are overly sensitive - to noise, to anything sad, like the other reindeer teasing Rudolph, to quite meretricious decorations that [for some unknown reasons] make you really depressed. So the game begins, with you trying to act normal while all of this turmoil and pain is going on inside you, instead of being able to cry and scream or stare at the ceiling like you can do when you're alone.

What I find somewhat difficult is that everyone you know (and even strangers and advertisements) are telling you just how much you should be enjoying this time of the year. Even if they're at the end of their rope trying to get everything done, they will be telling you what a downer you are being. You know you should be happy and having fun - no one has to tell you this. However, they do anyway, and you just want to slug them then proceed to burst out crying.. Yes, they may 'mean well', but they are not making things any easier for you.

Well that's my whinge/rant about the up and coming season.. Maybe next time I shall rant about something a bit more worthwhile.. Ahaha.

V1.11

First off, V1.3 has been edited to portray my thoughts upon having a think on the blog topic, and please note that from here on in I shall not be editing as such.. Just that I felt this one in particular needed it, seeing as I have since changed my opinion on that one and am no longer feeling guilty.

It is finally Saturday! It is awesome to be back working [over] full time again, the increased cash flow shall be greatly appreciated.. Work is alright, it is currently exceptionally tiring but what can ya' do? I enjoy it, I really do.. I am just sick to flip of the politics of that place. I mean really, all the time they spend whinging about having to do something - they could have had it already done by the time they had finished whinging! Oh well, I am not here to judge - it is indeed not my role. On the upside, the ABI/Psych [dual diagnosis] unit inbetween my ABI and my Psych unit are looking at offering me a contract. I seem to be full of contracts as of late - do not get me wrong, you do not see me complaining! Time will tell I suppose.

Argh my system has been running quite slow as of late. I removed a whole lot of junk yet still it is indeed running slow. I need more space, and possibly a further clean up. Or perhaps I can wait for this to happen...

Trust me, I don't often post/look at this sort of stuff [Believe it or not].

Again, an effortless blog containing a mere miniature rant on my day and my current thought/s. Maybe next time will be a tad more interesting. We will see.

V1.10

It is Thursday, glorious Thursday. Also known as my day off for the week. I did not see the need to blog yesterday, as 1) I had nothing worth putting [not that I generally do anyway], and 2) I was so exceptionally tired after work that I slept most of yesterday afternoon. Tomorrow brings the beginning of the 6 days in a row, out of my 12 work day fortnight. YAY! Ah, I just continue to think of the money.. It shall be oh so grand.

Other news, I am attending a formal - Ahaha AWESOME! So for this to work [well], I am in need of finding a pretty dress and attempting to scrub up nicely for it. I may have even found a date for the event, heh. Ah well, all in good fun I suppose. It will be my first formal ever, so that is something coolness. That and the lead up will allow me to hang out with Jane more, which is an absolute bonus.. She is indeed an awesome lass! What gets me a tad nervous is, I have never attended a formal - heck, I even missed my own debutante ball.. So I have a few things to research, to remove the possibility of something like this happening..

Also, I want a new console but I am unsure as to which one I desire the most. A SNES, Wii or an XBox [then I can emulate and have all of the SNES goodness on that one, however the Wii has Mario Galaxy and Wii fit. Mind you I don't want to be getting a console just because of 2 games, do I now? Not very practical]. Ah well, maybe I should save my pennies and hold off for a bit? We'll see how it goes I guess.

Oh, and yay for meeeting new people who I can actually converse with whom don't think I am weird when I make geeky/nerdy references. Total pwnage, heck yeah! That is all for today.